Fire in the Glen

Guinness & Viagra
Never actually performed, but Tom has hopes!

VERSE 1
I'm big as an ox and as strong as a truck,
But in matters of romance I never have luck,
My love life is lifeless, I'm hopelessly stuck,
So I need some assistance when it's time to f-f-flirt.

CHORUS 1
One makes you strong, one makes you stronger,
One makes you long -- I mean, makes you last longer.
Don't ask me no questions, it's none of your business
What shenanigans come when I mix Viagra and Guinness!

VERSE 2
I took my Viagra, I'm now on the clock,
I walk into the barroom, I stop and take stock,
But the girls have all gone, my ambition to block,
So I'll quick hurry home and visit my flock.

CHORUS 2
One makes you strong, one makes you stronger,
One makes you long -- I mean, makes you last longer.
There's no lassies here, I'm off for Niagra
'Cause I'm all hopped up on Harp and Viagra!

VERSE 3
I'm alone in the pub, alone at the bar,
I'm wondering where all of the single chicks are,
My habit has cost me my house and my car,
A drop to relax me, it sure would go far!

CHORUS 3
One makes you strong, one makes you stronger,
One makes you long -- I mean, makes you last longer.
I'm calmer, I'm quiet, I'll take a new tack
Now that I've downed a pint with Prozac!
Yes, I've changed medications, I'm now on Prozac!

Lyrics by Tom Knapp.

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