I'd Stop Drinkin'

I drink because I'm happy, and I drink because I'm sad,
I drink because I'm miserable and I drink because I'm glad.
And when they say that there's 12 steps to stop drinkin' today,
I kick 'em down the 12 steps that lead to Galway Bay.

CHORUS

Oh, I'd stop drinkin' if I could find another way,
If I could find another way, if I could find another way,
Oh, I'd stop drinkin' if I could find another way,
If I could find another way to get it down.

Oh, I'm drinkin' when there's music and I'm drinkin' when it's quiet,
I drink when I am peaceful and then start a bloody riot.
And when the Father tells me that I ought to take the pledge,
I chase that bugger up to the roof and shove him off the edge.

CHORUS

Oh, I drink when I am empty and I drink when I am full,
Whatever my condition, give that tap a second pull.
And if some hippie says put down your pint and smoke some grass,
I have another Guinness and shove that doobie up his ahhhhhhh...

CHORUS

So keep on drinkin' if you're straight and keep on drinkin' if you're gay,
And if you drink enough you'll do it any which-a-way.
Whether you're a Protestant, a Catholic or a Jew,
You'll all see God together when the drink's inside of you.

Words & music by Chet Williamson.