When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on or above a grave, tomb or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE NOW! If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just leave! Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness and so on, kill them immediately.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.
|
Happy Halloween & Samhain! FICTION: HORROR Nancy Baker
L.A. Banks
Elaine Bergstrom
Poppy Z. Brite
Cara Bruce, editor
Jim Butcher
Peter Carver, editor
Suzy McKee Charnas
Frank Chigas
Richard Chizmar & Robert Morrish, editors
Peter Crowther, editor
Les Daniels
Ellen Datlow & Terri Windling, editors
Peter David
Charles de Lint
Frederic Durbin
P.N. Elrod & Nigel Bennett
Mick Farren
Jewelle Gomez
Sherry Gottlieb
Peter Haining, editor
Laurell K. Hamilton
Charlaine Harris
Glen Hirshberg
David Holland
Tanya Huff
Shirley Jackson
Marvin Kaye, editor
Brian Keene
Lee Killough
Stephen King
Mercedes Lackey
David Leviatan
Marc Joel Levitt
Elizabeth E. & Thomas F. Monteleone, editors
Christopher Moore
Tom Orrell
John Pelan, editor
Tim Powers
Terry Pratchett
[Editor's note: OK, Terry Pratchett doesn't write horror, as such, but these novels do deal with the likes of Death and the Phantom of the Opera, vampires and witches. That's scary, right? Um, well, it could be, if the light was just right. ... Oh, c'mon, people! Halloween is supposed to be fun!] Anne Rice
Al Sarrantonio
John Steakley
Robert Louis Stevenson & John K. Snyder III
Karen E. Taylor
Jeffrey Thomas
Chet Williamson
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
NON-FICTION Charles J. Adams III
Robert Ellis Cahill
Richard Chizmar & Robert Morrish, editors
Joseph A. Citro
Kim Cool
Gerina Dunwich
Bill Jessome
Edmund Lenihan
Patrick M. Mendoza
A.S. Mott
Daithi O'Hogain
Vernon Oickle
Iona Opie & Moira Tatem, editors
Mark Oxbrow
Silver Ravenwolf
David J. Seibold & Charles J. Adams III
St. John D. Seymour & Harry L. Neligan
John Hardy Wright
MOVIES Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows The Nightmare Before Christmas Werewolf Hunter: Legend of Romasanta MUSIC Margo Carruthers, Speech from the Crone: Scarytales (2001) Fairport Convention, Meet on the Ledge ("Tam Lin") Loreena McKennitt, The Visit ("All Soul's Night") Reclaiming & Friends (with Starhawk), Let It Begin Now various artists
INTERVIEWS Writer Chet Williamson discusses the nature of true horror.
|
