Fire in the Glen

Scots-Amish, or Jakey the Piper

If you go to Dutch Country, you won't see many Scots.
But one farmer there dreams of highlands and glens.
He's memorized Braveheart and he's seen Rob Roy lots.
And he's looking for Nessie out there 'mongst the hens.

Jakey is Amish, but he wants to be clannish,
Even though Scots wear plaid clothes that go 'gainst the grain.
If the elders heard tell, they would certainly banish --
Still he wears his kilt proudly, though his tartan is Plain.

(CHORUS, to "Scotland the Brave")
Jakey's a farmer
And he loves playing bagpipes,
He marches and drones while his wife mows the hay.
Jakey's a milker
But he's still playing bagpipes,
He skirls like a banshee 'til the cows run away.

His hair isn't red and his brogue sounds too Dutchy,
And his wife won't sew thistles into their quilts.
But do not remind him, about his past he is touchy:
His German ancestors weren't known to wear kilts.

He makes his sheep into haggis and his grain into stout,
He drinks buttermilk with a neat Scotch to chase.
He will not stop skirling 'til his ticker gives out,
He says "Chust vun more run through of 'Amazing Grace'."

(to the tune of "Amazing Grace")
Amazing Jake, how sweet the sound,
The pipes are calling for you....

(CHORUS, to "Scotland the Brave")
Jake was a farmer
And he loved playing bagpipes,
He marched and he droned while his wife mowed the hay.
Jakey is gone now
But I still hear his bagpipes,
He skirled like a banshee 'til the cows ran away.

Words by Tom Knapp.

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