Usually, I can find something positive to say about a movie. With Lost in Space, the 1998 update to the campy 1960s science-fiction TV series, there's just nothing good to say.

The plot is ridiculous -- and doesn't even know enough to poke fun at itself, like the series did. The dialogue is wooden. The special effects aren't all that special. The score is overwrought.

And the cast -- including William Hurt, Mimi Rogers, Heather Graham, Lacey Chabert and Jack Johnson as members of the Robinson space-faring family and Gary Oldman as the sinister Dr. Smith -- just goes through the motions, apparently with complete self-awareness that their careers have just taken a hit. Matt LeBlanc, who is a good actor, plays Major West with as much depth as his old Friends character Joey Tribbiani might have done; remember, Joey's recurring gimmick in the show was that he was such a bad actor.

There's a cuddly space monkey, too.

Yeah, I just can't come up with anything good to say. Don't watch Lost in Space. Just don't.