How does this pitiful excuse of a slasher film get a Blu-ray release when numerous cinema classics still beg for that honor? I've seen a lot of bad horror movies -- some great, some pretty bad -- but Don't Go in the Woods has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Maybe, if you were really drunk, you could find humor in the awful storyline, the terrible cinematography, the load of bad actors portraying characters you desperately want to see killed, and all of the random, nonsensical elements that make up this film. Dead sober, it's pretty hard to endure.

The movie evens sounds like it's dubbed somehow, and the dainty little ditty that plays through the end credits is just weird -- and more enjoyable than the entire movie itself.

The first 30 minutes basically consist of random, downright odd characters being killed by some unseen killer. A foursome of annoying campers -- Craig, Peter, Ingrid and Joanie -- somehow end up being the main characters by the process of elimination. Periodically, we get shots in town of the world's fattest sheriff ignoring reports of missing people.

The killings themselves become even more laughably bad when we get our eyes on the culprit, a fat "mountain man" who couldn't sneak up on a dead horse yet somehow manages to kill people effortlessly. From this point on, the story basically becomes a tale of the survival of the dumbest.

This is a painfully bad, totally random low-budget slasher film. The movie was released in 1981, but this is pure '70s in look, character and execution. The killer does take out his victims in a number of different ways -- I'll give him that much -- but I think the gore quotient of the film is overrated. It all looks fake.

I also can't stress enough just how annoying every single character is in the film. In the aftermath, I'm left wondering what the heck was up with the guy in the wheelchair out in the middle of the woods alone. Everything else about Don't Go in the Woods is completely forgettable, and I am anxious to get the process of forgetting started.