Christmas Icetastrophe, aka Icetastrophe, directed by Jonathan Winfrey (Syfy, 2014) I pretty much live for bad, low-budget disaster movies, and with a name like Icetastrophe (or Christmas Icetastrophe, as it was called when it originally aired on SyFy), you know this one definitely qualifies. I was initially disappointed to learn that the film was not a product of The Asylum, but I needn't have worried -- Icetastrophe hits on just about every bad movie cylinder. It's built on particularly ludicrous scientific foundation, features unknown actors portraying characters you hardly know and do not care very much about, delivers tons of CGI icy destruction that really doesn't look all that bad for the most part -- and, of course, you have the obligatory romantic subplot about the town's very own version of Romeo and Juliet. On top of that, just for laughs, the story takes place at Christmas and features characters with the names Crooge, Marley, and Ratchet. So here's the deal. A small meteor splits in two just before colliding with Earth. The bigger chunk plows into Main Street of whatever town this is, then somehow begins to grow and initiate increasingly destructive flash-freezing storms all over the place, turning those who get in its way into human ice-kebabs and plunging the whole area into sub-Arctic temperatures. It's up to local Charlie Ratchet (Victor Webster) and plucky astrophysics grad student Alex Novak (Jennifer Spense) -- who comes to see the strange meteor she had been tracking for weeks -- to save the whole world from an icy holocaust while everybody else tries to find shelter despite their own stupidity. I think my favorite aspect of the movie is Ratchet's amazing ability to find anything he might need in his pockets or on the ground beside him -- heck, he even has the ability to keep using a lighter he gave his son early on in the movie. That tells you just about everything you need to know about Icetastrophe. It's just your average, run-of-the-mill SyFy disaster movie: a slightly amusing little romp for fans of bad movies but an insufferable viewing experience for those who expect their movies to actually make sense and tell a decent story. |
Rambles.NET review by Daniel Jolley 5 October 2024 Agree? Disagree? Send us your opinions! |