There's nothing like a good disaster movie. Unfortunately, this isn't one. In fact, this is without a doubt the most boring disaster movie I have ever seen in my life. They should have called this Screenwriting Apocalypse or Filmmaking Apocalypse -- anything but Meteor Apocalypse. The title implies that there is actually some sort of apocalypse -- there isn't -- and at least hints that there will be a bit of excitement involved -- there isn't -- what with meteorites crashing to Earth and all.

Unbeknownst to most of mankind, a huge comet is hurtling toward Earth. Anyone can see it's obviously a piece of rock with no trace of ice and not even a hint of a tail -- but we're supposed to believe it's a comet, anyway. All of the nuclear nations of the world get together and launch a barrage of missiles at the target to try and destroy it. Unfortunately, all they manage to do is to break the "comet" up into hundreds of smaller chunks, all of which begin descending to Earth.

Aside from the destructive effects of each collision, you also get the contamination of the water supply in the southwestern United States. People in the affected areas are hauled off into quarantine, including the wife and daughter of our "hero" David Dematti (Joe Lando). His interminably boring quest to find his family makes up the core of this story.

As far as I can tell, David seems to be some sort of water treatment plant employee, yet he has contacts at the CDC (no, the other one -- the Center for Disease Containment) and can whip up a cure for the deadly water sickness in less than a minute (of course, he only takes one tiny vial of it with him). He is also able to cover large areas on foot in short amounts of time, despite having teamed up with a weak and intermittently sick female companion, and he has the uncanny ability of locating places he's never been on the first try.

This movie is chock full of enigmas, from the impossible pattern of the meteorites' fall to the fact that none of the strikes kicks up a single bit of dust into the air -- but of course the real question is why a movie this bad was ever made.

About the only thing this awful movie gets right is the utter incompetence of the Department of Homeland Security, which attempts to thwart any attempt to rescue the sick or dying and can't be bothered to warn the citizens of a large metropolis that their city will be destroyed by a large chunk of comet in three days' time. Apparently, the DHS's only plan is to have no plan at all -- and woe to anyone who gets in their way.

Woe also to anyone foolish enough or unlucky enough to watch this abysmal disaster film. Meteor Apocalypse is the perfect storm of bad writing, bad acting, bad special effects and bad everything else -- I'll bet the set even had bad catering.