Don't blame me if you get burnt by this one.

As if we needed yet another way in which nuclear weapons could destroy life on Earth, along comes Scorcher. Thanks to China detonating a few underground nuclear bombs, the planet's tectonics are all screwed up, giving rise to earthquakes, volcanic explosions, and even lava spewing up in the Arctic -- and that's not even the bad news. That worrisome Pacific plate has begun moving too far too quickly, and the end result will be a fiery global catastrophe in just three days.

Now the fate of mankind rests on the shoulders of two estranged father and daughter scientists, a smart aleck corporal who once had the audacity to hit on the First Lady, and a team of oddball soldiers.

At least we can all be thankful to have a disaster film that doesn't reunite a divorced couple in the effort to save the world, although we do have the equally cliched situation of Colonel Beckett (Mark Dacascos) trying to find his estranged daughter while also pulling off a bold and risky mission. And of course you have the bickering father and daughter team of Dr. Matthew Sallin (John Rhys-Davies) and Julie McGrath (Tamara Davies) just happening to be the world's leading experts on this type of global disaster.

Throw in an insane religious nut trying to do his part to purge the earth of sinners and a special agent willing to let life on the planet be exterminated in order to settle a personal grudge, and you've got Scorcher.

Needless to say, Scorcher is a most forgettable disaster movie that leaves you asking "Why?" on far too many occasions. As far as special effects go, it looks just like the low-budget made-for-cable movie that it is.

Sure, there is some entertainment value at watching a poorly written disaster flick play out, but Scorcher never even begins to approach "so bad it's good" status. Unless you're like me and feel compelled to watch every disaster movie you can get your hands on, just give this one a pass.